Disorder in the American Courts

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS:   He said, 'Where am I, Cathy ?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS:   My name is Susan !
 _________________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep,
he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS:   Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS:   He's 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS:   Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS:   None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS:   Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a  new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS:   By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS:   Take a guess.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS:   He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS:   Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS:   All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS:   Oral...
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY:  Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS:   The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS:   If not, he was by the time I finished.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS:   No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS:   No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS:   No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS:   No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS:   Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS:   Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law